//
i shouted out for you. 
shouted in that direction, but silence followed me home. 
followed what i thought was your shadow, only to find the sunset and myself to roam. 
i heard you at the ocean, when i arrived all i heard was the whisper of the tide.
i thought i'd found you when, their lofty words momentarily filled me inside.
you were my light in darkness until like a trick you disappeared so quick
chasing you has haunted me, approval, it is time you let me be. 
//

reflecting on where my heart has wandered. there is vast vulnerability in brokenness. but oh joyful, joyful day when my mind is transformed and i am free from the chains of distorted self image.
i crave wholeness. with nothing to offer and everything to gain, i'm asking God to change my heart.



"Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ." Galations 1:10


Sincerely,
B

tuesday tidbits

B //

something new:

i've begun crafting. i'm enjoying learning and stretching myself as i tap into my creative side. +plus it inspires me to make things for my loved ones to enjoy. also, i am newly "training" (in some sense of the word) for a cycling race for diabetes. it's always been a desire of mine to be a part of a marathon or race for something bigger than myself. welp, here goes nothin.

something inspiring:

these two young men decided to leave their life behind and pursue adventure and regain the sense of astonishment found in youth. they are biking from oregon to patagonia in search of stories to hear and tell. i am so inspired by their willingness to leave behind comfort in an effort to allow the world to really amaze them, like when we were all young. the ideals of this culture can be so narrow minded and often make us forget that the desires in our hearts can be pursued and lived out. i will be following their journey for the next year, you should too... oregontopatagonia.com

something disturbing: 

as of late, i have subconsciously attempted to embrace every last california summer perk. today proved no different as i just about ate an entire watermelon! i would not be surprised if there was a watermelon growing in my stomach as i type. my blood sugar level is probably through the roof, and family is undoubtedly wondering where the unsliced watermelon went. so cheers to sweet summer fruit and belly aches.

something i'm listening to:

i've been really into late 70's mechanical rock & roll lately. currently listening to The Cars and early David Bowie. i really dig the feel-good, American feel it brings me. you can find me grooving to this in the car. (see what i did there?!...k, cool)


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S //

something new:
i'm moving out! finally! come october i'll be out on my semi-own, so right now, in between school, work, homework, internship, and breathing, i'm looking for furniture to paint, crafts to make, and packing up!

something inspiring:
this quote from my english class book--

"I saw in their eyes something I was to see over & over in every part of the nation---a burning desire to go, to move, to get under way, anyplace, away from Here."

-John Steinbeck, Travels with Charley, 1962

something disturbing:
i don't remember the last time i took a nap! this is not normal by any means. naps are sacred and i've always treated them as such but i've been so busy i haven't had time for a nice, satisfying nap. i find this very disturbing.

something i'm listening to:
glorious ruins, hillsong live. all day, all week, for two weeks now. i fall in love with one song and then the next and so on. i'm just now beginning to grasp the album in it's entirety, and boy is it a good one.