tonight was one of those nights
the kind of night where sleep sounds impossible
the kind of night where your mind is so pre-occupied, you don't even hear someone calling for you
the kind of night where you can feel your heart and stomach knot, leaving a mess you'll have to untangle sooner or later
the kind of night where your hand echoes hours later--still, small pulses--like it didn't want to forget the feeling of holding his--and if you just close your eyes, it's almost as if he never let go
the kind of night where you know better than to think anything of the things he says and does but you just.can't.help.it.
the kind of night where you know better than to let yourself go there but you just.can't.help.it.
the kind of night where you wish you would have let yourself feel those feelings before, so they wouldn't have come back when you least expected them to
the kind of night where he won't leave you alone--and you don't want him to--but when he does, you feel yourself become another memory
the kind of night where you just drive, anywhere. just so you can feel in control of something. and you don't even realize there was no music on the whole time.
the kind of night where your chest gets tight and the only thing that can repair your bruised heart is a hug...the hug-me-so-tight-that-i-can't-breathe-anymore kind of hug
the kind of night where the balance between naivety and realism is exhausting
the kind of night where you wish you were enough
enough for him, enough for yourself
you know those kind of nights?
tonight was one of those nights
-S
